Ashton Kever

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Car Rides, Coffee, Caregiving, and Mostaccoli

Camp season always feels hard for me. I know a lot of wives that would revel in some husband-free time, but I am not one of them!

Zach is my very best friend in the world. He’s the only person I consistently talk to every day, he knows everything about me and I know most everything about him, and we are almost always saving up some funny jokes, stories or videos from the day to laugh at together each night. We are in our marraige 50/50 and really do make it a joint effort as much as possible.

So, when summer camp season rolls around, I dread our time apart every year. I look forward to those silly little moments together everyday.

But I know how special and important the work  is that he is doing. Some of these kids find their relationship with Jesus at these camps. They find themselves and new friends. They build relationships with other spiritual and passionate followers of Christ, outside of their comfort zones: home and family.

In fact, I know how special and important that is, because it’s something I’ve been praying for for a while.

I want to make a very clear disclaimer here: praying for more Godly relationships does not mean I’m not still seeking and nurturing my friendships and relationships that already exist. I love and cherish my friends and family and wouldn’t trade them for the world.

What I’ve been praying for is more relationships with mothers and women on journeys with Christ. In some ways it is selfish- I want to learn what they’ve learned, hear about how God has moved in their lives recently, ask about their parenting journey with Christ, and everything in-between. But in other ways, I know and recently have relearned how it feels to be in service to someone else and I want to pour into other moms and women who are going through or have gone through this phase of life. We have got to stick together!

Well, with my fancy new boot, I’ve been limited on the service I can give, but have actually been in need of service myself. Because since it’s camp season, Zach is and will be gone a lot.

This is normally difficult when I’m healthy and not carrying a baby, but given my current circumstances, this might be the most challenging camp season yet.

In preparation for this week, I thought about all the instances I would need help dropping off and picking up the kids, getting to doctor appointments, getting to work, grocery retrieval, and the list goes on.

What this told me was that my mom was about to be spending a lot of time with me.

God bless my momma, she has taken the chaeuffering in stride. She’s gotten up extra early to bring my kids to daycare, built extra time into her evenings to help me wrangle them and get them ready for bath or bedtime, helped with dinners, watered my plants, and really just been my other set of hands in most situations.

I am so grateful to have my mom and dad so close and available to make this time a little easier.

A couple friends from my church have also stepped out in service to help us through this week. One brought me to get coffee and to work with her at church one day to get me out of the house and keep me from feeling lonely. Another friend made a DELICIOUS mostaccoli dinner for the kids and I that left our tummies and hearts full. (And not to brag here, but this mostaccoli is revered around town. It was so good, my 3 year old tried to put up a stalemate and not eat it, but after his required “one bite,”  he ended up cleaning his whole plate!)

My cousin even made time to come spend a morning with my kids so I could focus on some important work meetings. She brought games and toys that my kids had never seen before and they had so much fun! They even woke up from their naps asking for her!

Through all of this, I haven’t been sure how to thank all of my helpers enough. On one hand, I like to be independent and usually revel at an opportunity to show my ability to take care of everything myself. On the other hand, I don’t want to be alone in my struggle. God knows that about me and I have to wonder if he created this as an opportunity for me to grow in accepting help and service.

My friend who brought us dinner pointed out how important service is for us as Christians, but emphasized that service means giving AND receiving. Hearing that perked my ears up, knowing that in that moment, God might’ve been speaking through her to remind me that nothing about our journeys with Him should be lonely.

I believe when we go through the trials of this life, it isn’t for us to be alone. God wants us to reach out to Him for help. He expects us to act like brothers and sisters and take care of eachother. The Gospel of Matthew reminds us that He will take care of us, so why do we ever worry about what each day will bring?

While my cousin was here watching the kids, we had a conversation about our callings in life. I shared with her my deep longing to stay home with my kids and how right now we just couldn’t afford it. She stopped me immediately and essentially told me this: If it is God’s will for your life, no earthly thing like money could ever keep you away from it.

So I’ll leave you with this: Help and service are fundamentally human. We are created to be of service and accept service in our times of need. We were made to be a community, a family.

God’s help looks different each and every time, but by being of service, you are being the hands and feet of Jesus and providing help to God’s children and doing His work.