This week has been a roller coaster.

We have much to be grateful for, so I want to start there.

As most of you know, we are on a debt free journey. We started back in April of 2023, buckling down and trying to dig our way out of mostly student loans and stupid tax (No, not literal taxes. Stupid taxes: the price you pay for making dumb decisions with money).

We’ve had a baby and purchased a car in that time (sort of stupid tax, mostly just really unfortunate timing) and had our fair share of set backs.

Well, at a time in our lives where eggs cost upwards of $5 a dozen and daycare costs more than our monthly mortgage, finances have been tight. That being said, we’ve been gazelle intense and putting every penny we can muster toward debt!

I noticed recently that Bennett was outgrowing his clothes, and while I tend to plan ahead on clothes for my kiddos, I just hadn’t realized how much he’d grown!

More clothes weren’t really in the budget. And by that I mean, we weren’t sure where the money would come from. Of course we have savings, the kids have savings, we would’ve made sure our boy had clothes, but we wanted to leave that option as our last resort. So I talked to God about it.

He must’ve heard me and put it on a couple friends hearts because within the week, I had two people ask if Ben needed clothes, and wouldn’t you know it was the exact size he needed or bigger.

The Lord provided. In fact, he even went beyond the next size Ben would need. Ben is going to be clothed through the next few sizes. I wish I’d remembered to take a picture of the bags and boxes of clothes that showed up.

The best part was that our friends asked for little to no money for them. My heart overflowed! Ben and I are looking forward to sending our friends a very heartfelt thank you card made with love.

Earlier this month, I put out a message asking about any used costumes my friends had for sale. Again, within the week I had received 4 different offers or gifts of Dinosaur costumes (which have all been tested thoroughly by our little Dino already) and an offer to borrow a unicorn costume.

The idea of borrowing made me nervous - I would hate for it to get ruined when my daughter decides to open and eat some of her Halloween candy without asking.

We began to piece the costume together when my very creative and talented aunt just found some fabric laying around at her house and MADE her a costume. the look on Davi’s face was priceless!

God is so good.

One of our friends also had some extra toys laying around and snuck them in our car. When I looked at them I had to just smile. Would you believe me if I told you they were all some of Bens favorite things? Dinosaurs, nerf guns, movies, etc. We hid them right away and plan to use them at Christmas and his birthday. Both might’ve been taken care of with that one bag. God has been working!

On top of all of that, we’ve had other extremely generous people come forward and take care of us in other ways. Honestly, some of the things we’ve been blessed with lately are almost unbelievable. More to come on this later.

As I received word of another blessing via a phone conversation, I burst into tears. God heard me. He answered. (And maybe he showed off a little bit!) I wept because I was so overwhelmed with gratitude and praise.

The person I was speaking to on the phone probably thought I was crazy. I couldn’t keep myself from crying and praising God. Admittedly, my genuine reaction was a little embarrassing, but when you’ve been living in a valley, sometimes it is shocking and overwhelming when you finally find a path up the mountain.

God is always so good.

Finding a way out of this valley has been a challenge. I’m not even confident we are out of it yet, but I believe we are beginning the journey out.

I threw my back out a couple weeks ago, and actually had gotten much better, however, one day of too much activity made me re-injure myself. (Are you shaking your head in disappointment? Me too. I’m 30 years old, I should know better!)

My back being out has forced Zach to take on the lion’s share of the weekly workload. He’s even had to take off work to help me and our kids this week.

Yep- “and our kids”. Davi AND Joey have had trips to the doctor this week. Zach has been their main man, as I am not able to lift or do much but sit back in the recliner or walk…very slowly.

Admittedly, ever since Joey was really little and had to be in the hospital for RSV, I am a little sensitive about her getting sick. I worry so much more and catastrophize every symptom.

She had a rough night this week, and after she woke up crying and miserable the second time, I just stayed awake praying for a while.

In my praying, God revealed my own heart to me…and I was disappointed.

I felt like I’d been caught in a lie by my parents.

I remember talking to God about how much I love Joey and asking that he would lay His healing hands upon her. My next thought was, “Well, I know you love her too, more than I could ever imagine.”

That thought led me down a train of thought I am embarrassed to share, but I believe it might comfort someone else or at least be relatable.

“If You love us so much, why would you ever take babies from their mommas early? Why do you allow children to get so sick that they die?” So on and so forth.

My fears revealed a very sad and scared human heart and mind.

I talked with God about it all morning, asked for forgiveness, and prayed for answers.

I think the answer I got is this: He doesn’t delight in it.

Some of you know that I’ve been following the Bible Recap to read through the Bible in a year.

I’m currently in Ezekiel.

Tara Leigh Cobble explains that as we look for God’s character, we see that the things God hates are the things that run contrary to the things He loves.

Now this isn’t exactly apples to apples, but I believe God knew what was on my heart and spoke to me through His Word.

If God delights in the salvation of wicked people, how much more so does He delight in the salvation of his children and their children?

Of course He doesn’t want us to be sick, children to die, or bad things to happen!

We live in a fallen world, but He “gives beauty for ashes”.

Now, I obviously don’t have an exact answer to my questions, but I know that in all of our hardship, God will make it beautiful.

Joey is on the mend and I’m grateful to see her smiling again. I won’t pretend that as I took off another day of work and realized my plans for the day were upended didn’t upset me.

However, I chose to reframe the day and see it as an opportunity to rest and recharge with baby snuggles and quiet time.

And for that, I’m grateful.

Praise God for the valleys - because without them, the mountains wouldn’t be as beautiful.