God has been putting this message on my heart and I think it is imperative that I put it out there. I’m not sure who needs to hear it, but I pray God speaks through me into your heart.

I’m going to start with a question and I want you to keep it in mind as you read.

What are you afraid of?

While in CO, I had the absolute pleasure of a lifetime of baptizing my sister and her friend in the pond on the mountain. They have been praying over this decision for the last few years. Being raised Catholic, it was a complicated and confusing decision that didn’t always come with the support of their Catholic friends and family. A decision I am very familiar with.

Catholics believe that sprinkling water as a baby is all the baptism you need. Committing your life to Christ upon your own volition happens when you’re confirmed, typically around jr high to high school age.

While I was older than these girls when I felt God’s intense pressure on my heart to be immersed in baptism and knowingly choose to follow Christ, I still had to battle the giants of the faith I was familiar with and the possibility of disappointing my parents and family in the process.

What are you afraid of?

One of the first preachers to take the stage and bring a message to the massive crowd at NYR, Aaron Chambers, addressed these giants. It’s as if God spoke through him directly to those two girls in our group that day, moving them to tears.

He was referencing the story of David and Goliath. David was the least likely candidate to defeat the largest and most terrifying guy in the land. Not to mention he did it with a few stones and a sling. Mr. Chambers covered a lot of wonderful points, but one thing he hammered down on, is giants and how to arm yourself against them.

For all of us, those giants look different. Examples he gave spanned from depression, anxiety, and cutting, to what is going to be waiting for you when you get home such as parents and family who might disagree or not understand the decision to be baptized.

These two girls had been wanting to get baptized for the last two years that they attended NYR, however, not being 18, they needed their parents permission, which they did not receive. This year, now legally adults, they didn’t need their parents permission and they went through with this decision, praying fervently that God would soften the hearts of their families at home. The giants they were walking in the shadows of were going to be waiting for them when they got home. They had so many fears, but decided after a few days of prayer on the mountain, that their faith in God was bigger than the giants they were going to face upon their return.

WHAT are you afraid of?

In the fall of 2014, I attended a church service at the church I now frequent every Sunday. It wasn’t my first time there, but something about the service that day felt different, as if God had planned every piece of it just for me. Not only was there a very moving baptism at the church that day, there was also a passionate worship service and song special accompanying a message from the preacher that must’ve tied all of it together. All I know is that I was crying during the final song of the church service and something in my heart was telling me I needed to be baptized. This was difficult to understand, as I had never before felt God’s presence so overwhelmingly in church that it moved me to tears. I also didn’t understand why I needed to be baptized, because I already was…right?

God didn’t let me off the hook though. My boyfriend (now husband) noticed how the service impacted me and I talked with him on the way home about everything that I was feeling. His advice was to pray about it! So I did. Trust me, God isn’t subtle when He is trying to move you on the path He’s made for you.

That whole week, I could not be around a radio anywhere without the first song I heard being about water. Specifically, the song that kept greeting me EVERY time I was around a radio was “Something in the Water” by Carrie Underwood. This song wasn’t even at the top of the charts to my memory. Even Zach started to get a laugh about this answer from God on a constant loop while I labored over this seemingly scary decision.

After three days of God’s relentless musical loop, I spoke with the youth pastor at the church and set plans to be baptized the following Sunday. THAT is when the fears really sank in. I now had to talk to my parents about this decision and hope that they wouldn’t desert me for wanting a closer relationship with God.

Ultimately, I think it went well. My dad even came to my baptism, although I know he fought through his own disappointment and fear of what it all meant for me and my future. I’m forever grateful to him for making the decision to support me, even though it was hard for him to understand my choice. I gained a level of trust and respect for my dad that day that I never had before and now, as a parent, I’m even more grateful for the example he set for me.

Are you wondering why I keep asking you this question yet? Hang in there, I think this is all important context to the message I want to share with you. WHAT are YOU afraid of?

Everyone’s experience post-baptism is different I’m sure, but I remember feeling the most intense feeling of freedom. Like I was light and brand new, ready to literally fight a giant if given the opportunity. In fact, I was so on-fire for my new found faith in God that I did at least one art piece about it in college.

For a while I attended both the Catholic Church and the Non-Denominational Christian Church, starting to feel split down the middle between the familiarity of the church I grew up in and the overwhelming newness and depth of the church I was recently baptized in. I think Satan saw an opportunity and struck. After a few months, I was sleeping in on Sunday mornings, forgetting to pray before bed, and generally running from religion in the traditional sense because that was easier than facing my fears and addressing the giants that Satan was using as road blocks on my path. I continued on this journey for a couple more years until Zach and I got engaged and had to decide where we were getting married.

Having both been born and raised Catholic, our first stop was the Catholic Church, meeting with a priest to start the marriage process. I’ll spare you the details of that meeting, but just know that I cried through most of it, and not in the same way I shed tears at the other church service before my decision to get baptized. These were not positive tears. Something felt so wrong about that meeting I cried the whole way home, and when we got to my parents house, I cried as I told my parents about it. Even my dad seemed alarmed at my emotional reaction and again supported my decision to try talking to the pastors at the Christian church I had been attending.

During our meeting with the same pastor who baptized me a couple years earlier, I felt nothing but peace. The rest is history, but recently, it occurred to me that God didn’t stutter. He was pretty clear where he wanted me from the start of all this. It was my fear of what others would think of me and the unknown that held me back. There is a reason I cried through that whole meeting with the priest. There was a reason I felt unexplainable peace and comfort just going into the meeting with the pastor at the Christian church.

I swear this is the last time I will ask this question without immediately divulging my point. What are you afraid of?

At NYR, God’s presence is tangible and obvious. Attending as an adult, I still felt it and felt shaken and moved at every session and worship service. Can you imagine that feeling at the age of 14-18 years old? I was 20 years old before I felt that feeling in that church service. It was overwhelming, scary, and beautiful, but I was well into making decisions for myself by then. I felt a fire deep in my soul and I wanted to share with everyone the power and wonder of Jesus Christ that I now felt in my heart.

In fact, when I shared about the art piece I made about my baptism in my final critique in the fall semester of 2014, I did share the feeling I now held in my heart and the faith that I had gained. Satan knew exactly what to do to shake me. I noticed the deafening silence in the critique from my peers who normally have lots to say about the artwork being presented. There was an awkwardness in that hallway that’s hard to describe. It left me feeling judged, outcast, now labeled a “holy roller” or “Jesus freak.”

The kids that go on this trip…they feel that fire in their heart for God. They feel closer to Him than anywhere else when they are on that mountain.

But when they come home, they feel the same feelings I did in that final critique. They feel that the fire that has been lit in their hearts for Jesus is being dampened, if not put out, by all of the fears of inadequacy, disappointment, doubt, and the labels they might receive.

But as someone who has reignited that flame and found their way back to Christ, I implore you to cast out the fears you’re holding in your heart that are keeping you from Christ.

What are you afraid of?

Is it the judgement of your parents, family, or friends? Are you afraid they won’t love you anymore for devoting yourself to Jesus?

Are you scared that your friends won’t like you anymore because you made a friend in Jesus? I hate to tell you this, but if that is true, they weren’t really your friends to begin with.

Are you afraid of the unknown? God created darkness before light, so you should expect that the path will be dark and scary at first, but trusting in Him will give you that light you need to see the path He has made for you.

Is it a fear of discomfort? Of leaving the familiar for whatever He is calling you to? I hate to tell you this, but God has a way of seeing your comfort and pushing you right out of it to grow and change. To quote Aaron Chambers, He will prepare you for what He has prepared for you.

There has never been a time better than right now to light that fire under your faith and fully commit to Jesus.

In Matthew 13:1-23, Jesus tells the parable of the soils. A sower sewed seeds on the path, shallow soil, soil surrounded by thorns, and fertile soil. This is an analogy for our hearts. The shallow soil is what I personally experienced upon my baptism. I was passionate in my faith and growing fast, but quickly died when I got overwhelmed. I then was faced with the thorny soil. The world around me choked out my spiritual growth with the fear that I wasn’t worthy or of how I would be treated if I continued to let that fire burn. I now understand and pray that I’m getting closer to the fertile soil. My roots are growing deeper by the day and my hope is that by continuing to share my faith, that my fire will help you reignite yours or maybe light it for the first time.

It is time we, Christians, are unapologetic about our love for Christ. It won’t come without scrutiny or trial, Jesus himself said it wouldn’t be easy for Christians. But we are called to bring light and love into this world no matter the tribulations that we face along the way. It’s time we put down roots.

So, what are you afraid of? Nothing has changed my life as much as developing this relationship with Christ. Never in my life did I think I could hear God’s voice or regularly see His work in my life. But now, I see signs of His handiwork daily. I find myself more grateful than ever before for the small things. I am meeting my fears with prayer and confidence in my Savior. What is stopping you from letting God move in your life? What is keeping you from passionately choosing to follow Jesus?

I think it is important that I say this: I’m not shaming those parents for not allowing their daughters to be baptized. I know they meant well and were doing their best as parents! What I am saying? Catholics ARE Christians. But in my experience as a Catholic, there was never an opportunity to choose for myself to follow Christ. While that is what was supposed to happen with my confirmation into the Catholic faith, that was still not my choice so much as my parents saying that I had to do it.

Your parent’s faith cannot save you. One day, you’ll move out or your parent’s will pass on and you will not have them breathing down your neck to go to church, pray before meals, pray before bed, read your bible, etc. These girls, and younger me, never had the opportunity to choose for ourselves to follow Christ. Every opportunity was scripted and chosen for us. I promise I’m not dogging on Catholics. The point I’m trying to get at is that we all made a choice to be baptized to publicly declare our intention to follow Jesus.

Now it is the responsibility of those of us rooted in our faith to fan the flames for new believers like those girls. It doesn’t matter what denomination of Christianity you belong to, a new life in Christ should be a reason to celebrate!

Whether you’re Catholic, Christian, Baptist, or somewhere in-between, you have the same opportunity that those girls did to passionately follow Christ. Baptism may not be your path, but deciding that you’re going to rededicate your life to Christ can happen right now.