First, I just want to say, God is so so good.

Recently, I wrote an article about hurting my ankle and missing out on a church trip to Colorado. If you didn’t see it, you can read it here.

To summarize, I gained an understanding that sometimes, when things happen in our lives, even when they happen directly to us, it isn’t always about a lesson God is teaching us. It isn’t always about OUR future. Sometimes it is about the impact our choices can make on other people and their futures. In the process of learning this lesson, I received a pretty messed up ankle and no hope left of going on the church’s youth group trip to Colorado.

Anyway, I assumed that was my lesson to learn and grapple with. However, as the trip got closer…I got restless and more and more frustrated.

I found myself coming up with things that I could do while my husband was on the trip to pass the time. When that stopped being a source of positivity, I decided with determination that I would at least take the boot off to drive, that way I would have some remnant of independence in my solitude. So I began to practice driving and walking around without the boot.

To my surprise, I noticed that I actually felt fine. Better than fine! I was walking around as if I hadn’t had a boot at all. With only a little bit of soreness if I did a LOT of walking, I was starting to feel even more restless.

Flash forward a week, I was still trying to grapple with my inability to go on the trip. I had resorted to suffering in solidarity, or so I thought…

Around the same time that my plans were ruined for going on the trip to sponsor, so were the plans of another sponsor. He had just started a new job and there was a mix up on the days he would need off work. Long story short, the employer ended up allowing another person the requested leave off, not the sponsor. The knowledge that I was not alone in my suffering was one of the main factors making the idea of not attending the trip a little more bearable.

And then, God made a way. The other sponsor was able to work something out with his employer and was now attending the trip. Upon receiving this news, my heart sank into my butt. I hadn’t realized just how much stock I was putting into the idea that, “at least I wasn’t the only person living with the devastation of missing this trip.” That’s when my restlessness became insurmountable.

My mind began racing. What if I was super careful? What if I practiced a little more without my boot? What if I went to my doctor and had him evaluate my ankle with hopes he’d sign off on the idea? Someone else on the trip would need to ride the golf cart up and down the mountain to camp…I could just tag along with him… The ideas and thoughts were running the Indie 500 through my brain and I was powerless to stop it.

I decided to vocalize all of the thoughts zooming through my mind. I went to Zach and launched the hypothetical “what if I just went…” monologue. He seemed unphased and said, “You’re going to do whatever you want anyway, why should I try to stop you.”

The fact that he didn’t say, “NO,” sent me on a rampage to get all of my theoretical ducks in a row and make it official.

I consulted a few other people before ultimately deciding that if my kids had care and I could work things out at my job, I was going come hell or high water.

This decision didn’t come without spiritual warfare. Leading up to this decision, many folks said, “Who knows! You might not have hurt your foot as bad as you think, you might still be able to go!” When I had finally solidified my plan to attend, suddenly, every person I spoke to about it was quick to tell me, “I’m really not so sure this is a good idea.”

Within the same week, the dog also needed an urgent vet appointment to remove a giant piece of stick from her teeth, daycare was closed and my children were on a rampage, and we were made aware of the rapidly declining health of my husband’s relative. There were many things trying to stifle my attendance of this trip.

All of these roadblocks and challenges were discouraging. I began to ponder if I was forcing the issue and it really was a bad idea to go. But the minute discouragement started to creep in, I was filled with this overwhelming urgency to “stay the course.”

Something - or someone - was telling me I was needed on that mountain. My desire to attend was replaced with a simple knowing that I couldn’t be anywhere else.

Despite a couple people disappointed that I was choosing to go on this trip rather than follow doctor’s orders, the moment I stepped out of the church van into the valley, I knew I was exactly where God wanted me.

I’m so excited to share more about my week on the mountain with you, but for now, I will leave you with this.

In the moment that I hurt my ankle, I had a choice to make. I could’ve had faith that the Lord would make a way, that He would provide for whatever I needed in order for me to attend this trip. The choice I made, however, was to assume God’s plan for this year’s Nationwide Youth Roundup did not include me.

In some ways, I believe this was a test of faith in God’s ability to move mountains, slay giants, and part the waters if necessary to make a way where there wasn’t one before. I’d give myself a C+ on my faithfulness in this season. I know the lesson I learned in that moment was valuable, but it was naive of me to think God was done! I lost faith for a while and remembered just before it was too late that through God, all things are possible.

I hope you’ll stick with me as I begin sharing some of the most wonderful experiences and big God moments that happened on the mountain and in the valley.